"Lukewarm people do not live by faith; their lives are structured so they never have to. They don't have to trust God if something unexpected happens- they have their savings account. They don't need God to help them- they have their retirement plan in place. They don't genuinely seek out what life God would have them live- they have life figured and mapped out. They don't depend on God on a daily basis- their refrigerators are full and, for the most part, they are in good health. The truth is, their lives wouldn't look much different if they suddenly stopped believing in God."
Francis Chan, Crazy Love

I see too much of myself in those words. I moved 6,000 miles from home. I live in a culture which is not my own. I can't grocery shop, ask where the bathroom is, or order my own dinner at a restaurant. I cannot live independently. I want to be self-sufficient. I find myself resisting in my heart my need for help. My dependency on God (and others) has definitely changed, but not enough.

I cannot get over the fact that the people I live amongst, the people who have so much less than me, live more contentedly than I do. The sweet body of believers at Castro Alves have a dependency on God that I long for. I want to be sustained by the Lord, but I live discontented. I want to depend completely on my Savior.

Every student in my 5th grade class can define sovereignty. God is in control, and He is good. We studied this in Bible class all week. I am so thankful that I could learn this lesson along with them: I must choose daily to believe my God is sovereign and live accordingly.